they almost had me there
i almost bought it all
as if i’d manufacture this fiasco
just for inspiration, just to watch it fall.
you aren’t smiling with your eyes
so why say hello at all?
surely by now you’ve read enough online
to figure it out.
and oh my god, that pedestal i’d never reach
and still sometimes i miss the company that you never gave
from A staircase to that beach
if i could stop being invested in your imminent demise
i swear i’d see the sun is on the rise
he took me for a walk
he walked me round the field
told me he wasn’t mad, ‘cause he has found
this nice much younger woman, and so
my fate was sealed.
you told me you didn’t care
said that you were relieved
and i saw through nothing since at twenty-two
there wasn’t much i’d disbelieve.
and jesus christ if i could be the friend i needed then
and take my own advice, instead of years of doubt.
but now i know what love can look like
i won’t self-pathologise
i swear i see the sun is on the rise